Tuesday, March 5, 2013

The Thoughts I Shared At Porter's Funeral

Today is not an easy day but with each passing year the ache and hurt eases over losing my youngest son.  I thought I would share here the memories that I shared at Porter's funeral only 3 short years ago.  Standing and speaking at your own child's funeral is not an easy task but this mother heart wanted to and needed to.  Porter was too precious to me and I wanted my family and friends to know that.   

 Porter Addison Fisher
September 13, 1991-March 5, 2010

Our precious little buddy was a son, a brother, a grandson, an uncle, a nephew, a cousin and a friend.  He was born on Friday, September 13th, 1991 in Provo, UT.  The youngest of four siblings.  Porter was a very sweet baby and it was oftentimes difficult for me to put him down.  Mark would tell me many times I spoiled my babies by holding them too much, yet I found so much joy in nestling, and cuddling them.

Our little boy Porter grew up enjoying the many typical adventurous things that boys do.  He loved kites, bikes, airplanes, Legos, and remote control vehicles of any shape and size.  Porter was always earning and saving up his money for the next greatest toy.  If he didn't have money he would just build something else instead.  He spent many hours working in the garage with his dads tools constructing anything his creative mind could come up with.  The kitchen counter with the junk drawer right below was also a favorite spot for him to build and create.

Porter was baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints at the age of 8 by his father, and had looked forward to this important event in his life with much eagerness.  He received his Gospel in Action award a year and a half later with a couple of his goals being to read the Book of Mormon with his family and to learn and grow in a new talent which he accomplished through taking piano lessons.   

As a young man he enjoyed many adventures in the Scouting and Young Men's program.  He went on many a camp out and enjoyed the friendships of so many Young Men leaders and Bishops who taught him and influenced him for good.  One of his favorite places to go was Burriston Ponds just South of Utah County.  As Porter got older and was able to drive himself it wasn't uncommon for him to grab a buddy or two and just head out to enjoy a campout, a drive up the canyon, and just be in nature.

Because Porter has two older brothers it's very common for our home to be filled with young men of all ages.   Some of those young men are now currently serving missions throughout the world and when they heard the news of Porter's passing they shared of few of their thoughts which I would like to now share with you. 
            -Elder Ian Wheelhouse said:  "Porter is an amazing kid and an awesome example for all of us.  I have so many great memories growing up with Porter from campout adventures we had to just hanging out at the Fisher house.  He was truly a friend to everyone and I don't think he even had the capacity to have bad feelings towards anyone.
            -Elder Tyler Bristow said:  "I got to know Porter on camp outs and he always brought smiles to faces and brought an excitement to camp.  He was always exploring something new, looking for new creatures, finding new trails, climbing up rocks and more without a fiber of fear.  He has a great intelligence for many things, cars, bikes, music, sports and many other things and loved sharing it.  I know that he is in a good place and in good hands.
            -Elder Nathan Buhler who was his next door neighbor for 16 years and life-long buddy said:  "I know that Porter was a great man, and will always be great in my eyes.  There are but a few I have grown as close to.  In every sense of the word I will always consider him my brother, my best friend.  I know that it was meant to be for me to grow up right next door to my family.
            -Elder Jonny Oviatt said:  "Porter was a great friend to everyone and I loved his smile.  He's definitely preaching the gospel on the other side!"

We as a family echo those same thoughts that Porter is now serving his mission on the other side.

As Porter grew his interests changed from little boyhood adventures and little toys to big adventures and big toys.  He liked motorcycles and purchased the most beat up, run down yellow thing I ever saw just so he could see if he could make it run.  Amazingly enough he fixed it up, and made it look pretty good and was able to make a few bucks.  Porter actually bought and sold a number of motorcycles that he would fix up.  He wasn't really interested in owning them to ride, he just seemed to like the challenge of seeing if he could fix them, and he could!

Also as Porter grew his interests turned more towards music and he immersed himself whole- heartedly into acoustic guitars, bass guitars, amplifiers, drums and found much joy in developing this talent.   He spent many hours with Will and Stephen Petersen and Brian Farnworth enjoying this newfound love.  They so badly wanted to start a band but just couldn't seem to get it to fly.  After searching out bands he came upon one in Salt Lake County needing a bass guitar player and auditioned for it and earned the position.  He was now a member of "Ask For the Future" and has loved that opportunity of performing with them so much.  He often would tell me that Sam the lead singer and his fiance, Trista were like brother and sister to him.   He enjoyed all the members in the band and often talked of the laughs and good times they shared together.  Thank you band members for allowing him these fond memories and experiences with you.

My own father often tells me that this musical gift of Porter's just came down the pipes in the family, through the genes and that his Uncle Perry Asay, who would be Porter's great-great uncle, had this same gift.  I'm positive that Porter has now found Great Uncle Perry and is talking his ear off about music in every way, shape and form.  If it were possible for Porter to be holding a guitar now then I'm sure he's doing it.  There was always music coming from his room if he was hooked up to his amp, or he would walk around the house with his acoustic guitar always showing us some new melody or rhythm he had just made up.  Porter just only days ago had finished recording a song with a friend who did the lyrics and singing.  Porter had a talent for recording and editing music as well as playing it.  I have fond memories of some very beautiful sweet melodies he has recently written and look forward again to the day we will see his long beautiful fingers strum their melodies again.

Porter had some pretty lofty goals he had recently set and was nearing completion of them.  I'm sure he's desirous of still fulfilling those same goals and is working towards them on the other side. 

Because Porter had so many interests in music and building things at home he never had a desire for a regular job.  He did work for his grandmother and my sisters  and also would go help out a sweet, elderly gentleman named George with his many projects.   George expressed his feelings about Porter saying, "He contributed so much happiness to my life.  Every time he came to work he showed up with a smile on his face and brought joy into this place."

Porter truly brought joy and smiles and happiness to so many around him.  I know whenever he was around we couldn't help but laugh at his quick wit and humor.

At this time I'd like to take the opportunity to thank so many people who have come from far and near in support of our family.  We have been completely overwhelmed with the outpouring of love.  Thank you for your prayers, your fasts, your hugs, your cards, your food, your smiles and kisses.  We have felt so strengthened by so many loved ones.   Our family feels so blessed by having known all of you.  Thank you for being a friend to Porter.

I have a good friend who gave me a card with a scripture inside many years ago when I was experiencing some challenges.   It's in John 14:27 which reads "Peace, I leave with you, my peace I give unto you:  not as the world giveth,  give I unto you.  Let not your heart be troubled neither let it be afraid."  She gave that to me at a time when I needed to hear those healing words.  That has since become a favorite scripture of mine and I think of it often in trying times.   I know I will think of it daily for the many days and months ahead.   

Porter, we miss you so much and our hearts are broken at this tragic sudden passing.  We know you died enjoying your most favorite thing in the world.   I know that you would want our family to be at peace and so with Heavenly Father's help through the Comforter,  we can have that feeling in our home and in our lives.  Thank you for allowing me to be your mother.  I feel honored to have been able to raise you for the short 18 years you were here on earth.  We love you so much little buddy!    We know we'll see you again because of Heavenly Father's plan. We are so grateful that families are forever.


Joshua Snow Hansen said...

How tender. I'm thinking of you today!

Brittany said...

What a sweet and tender talk. The moment I met Porter he instantly grasped my attention. He was so devoted and driven by the things he loved doing. He loved life and you could see that. I admired him for that. It was weird because I have only known him for just a couple of months but somehow we bonded and I considered him a close brother that I have always wanted. I was so protective over him. I just wanted to give him a big hug everyday because his smile and his full of life personality was so contagious.
I am so lucky to have know him for the time I did. He made such a huge impact in my life I could only imagine the impact he made on the people who have known him forever. What an amazing boy! I love you little buddy!!
Know I am thinking about you and your family today. Porter will be right there with you guys :)
Love you susette!

LL said...

So touching--thank you for sharing this.

Arica said...

I have yet to meet you cute lady but I'll catch up with you at one of these races someday. You truly inspire me. Such tender thoughts about your sweet boy. My heart is thinking of you today. Thank you for being such a good example to me not only through running but motherhood as well.

Cory Reese said...

I can't imagine how difficult this would be. Very powerful, thanks for sharing this.

Jenny Lynn said...

This was very brave to share. My heart and prayers are with you on this day of remembrance.

wendy said...

Porter certainly sounds like he was a wonderful young man. These were beautifully written words.

mCat said...

I had no idea, you had lost a son. My heart aches for you. This is beautifully written and Porter sounds like an amazing son

Murph said...

Sounds like an amazing young man. Thanks for sharing.

Dixie Mom said...

What a beautiful tribute to your boy. He sounds so wonderful. I can't believe it's been 3 years. I hope your heart feels peace. You are a great example.

tammy said...

What a beautiful tribute. I still remember reading your blog at the time of his death. My heart broke for you. I'm glad you spoke at his funeral. I wasn't planning on speaking at my husband's, but at the last minute decided to and am so glad I did. I'm so glad we know what we know about death and the plan. I can't imagine going through these things without that firm knowledge. xoxo

Becca Jane said...

I had to speak at my best friend's funeral in 2006. It was one of the toughest moments of my life, but also very beautiful.