Saturday, March 27, 2010

I Love My Porter

This photo was taken in December 2009 and was the last family photo taken with our sweet Porter.
(minus Kali and Wade and baby in Boston)

 Cooper, Mom, Dad, Jordan, Porter

My daughter tells me she misses my blogging.  It's a difficult thing for me to do with a sad heart.  Kali has an eloquent way with words that seem to touch to the very core of my feelings and so I have been content just reading all of her "Dear Porter" letters on her blog.

My heart still needs a lot of healing and lately watching old home movies of Porter and looking at photos of him fills my saddened soul.  I wonder how long this ache and pain will be here? 

People ask me how I'm doing and all I can say for now is "I'm doing fine."  I wonder when I will be able to say "good" or "great"?  Will that ever happen?  Will my heart ever completely heal from the loss of our little Porter?

I found this quote on a friends blog, and thought it was so perfect! (Thanks Terresa)

"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." --Kahlil Gibran 

Porter has truly been our delight.  Even more so in the last couple years.  He had developed this sense of humor that just made us all laugh no matter what.  You couldn't be in the same room and not end up laughing at something he had said or done.  One day we will laugh with him again.  I look forward to that day.

I love you Porter♥

Hurrah for Kali, she told me she had a complete family photo from Miles' baby blessing in January.  So here we all are together.  I'm so glad she surprised us and came to Utah only two months ago to let us be a part of this special occasion and so Porter could meet his brand new nephew.  
Porter, Jordan, Kali, Miles, Wade, Susette, Mark, Cooper

Monday, March 8, 2010

Funeral Services

We have been so touched by the many heartfelt words and actions of so, so many people.  I have felt a little more strength yesterday from above and truly have felt so many of your prayers.  Thank you all.  Yesterday we received a gift from somebody in our new ward whom I've never even met, only spoke with on the phone briefly around Christmas time.  This amazing young lady, named Elspeth Young found a picture on my blog and created our little Porter on canvas with pastel.  We all cried tears of joy when we opened it.  She truly captured his little spirit in this piece of art.  It now sits in the living room and will remain there until the day we see our little boy again.  

Funeral services will be Thursday, March 11th, 2010 held at the chapel on 828 W. 1600 N. Orem with a viewing from 9:30-10:45 am. A Wednesday night viewing will be held at Sundberg Olpin from 6-8 pm, 495 S. State in Orem.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

The Loss Of Our Son Way Too Soon!

Only just 18 short years
I love this cute little buddy.  I miss him so much.  It's with so much sadness that I share our loss of him at this time.  He slipped and fell to his death during a hiking accident on Friday afternoon.  My heart is way too full at this time to share much more.  But we have experienced so much love and support through family and friends.  Thank heavens for the gospel and Priesthood blessings too.  There is so much to do now to prepare for a funeral and burial.  A mother shouldn't have to bury a child.  My daughter Kali has a beautiful way with words and shares some very tender emotions and feelings about her little brother.  If you want to read more please visit her blog(Be prepared with a kleenex)